Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Desiree's LiveJournal:

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Thursday, December 8th, 2005
1:15 am	i depise the pharmaceutical industry with so much passion i can't even begin to verbalize... a little Nancy eases my tension: In my room way at the end of the hall I sit and stare at the wall each day's just like the last for I live in the past In my room where every night is the same I play a dangerous game I keep pretending he's late And I sit and I wait Over there is the picture we took when he made me his bride over there is the chair where he held me whenever I cried over there by the window the flowers he left... ...have all died. In my room way at the end of the hall I sit at I stare at the wall hating how lonely I've growned all alone in my room... ¤ Kiss Me :0* ¤
Thursday, September 1st, 2005
12:42 am	:0) ( pretty! ) ¤ 10 Kisses ° Kiss Me :0* ¤
Monday, August 22nd, 2005
3:11 am	"when i think of it my fingers turn to fists" well baby, the shallow water keeps me from drowing. and deeply, i do regret making the choice to change. but love, my phsyche's only envy is those who know no better than to keep a lung above water; because i do and i chose to pretend to be naive. "hunger hurts, and I want him so bad, oh it kills 'Cause I know I'm a mess he don't wanna clean up I got to fold 'cause these hands are too shaky to hold hunger hurts, but starving works, when it costs too much to love" ¤ Kiss Me :0* ¤
Friday, August 19th, 2005
12:31 pm	i wish tony was here :0(. today would make a great beach day. ¤ Kiss Me :0* ¤
Friday, August 12th, 2005
12:34 am	ok, just watched the dior fall/winter '05/'06 show online: 1. beautiful 2. i'm a freaking obese shit 3. i'm getting my legs surgicaly stretched <3 ¤ Kiss Me :0* ¤
Wednesday, August 10th, 2005
1:16 am	reminder: send kim skippy creamy peanut butter and oriental top ramen ASAP. ¤ Kiss Me :0* ¤
Tuesday, July 26th, 2005
6:50 pm	!!sknab gnikcufrehtom ynot uoy kcuf!! i miss my dad, although i'm not sure i ever really knew him in the first place. i think about him everyday. i wonder why he does not want to call his daughter-just to see how she is, or drop an email once in a while. i feel absolutely melancholy right now. i feel so damn alone. i miss the one amazing summer i had. the one where tony and i became best friends. everything was so freaking exciting. the world stopped around me for a few months. i was sure i met my perfect match...my baby's daddy. now, i feel as though i've lost the most beautiful promise god ever granted. i think i'm losing myself now. my body and mind... my soul is strong; i wish that's all i was made of. i'm fucking over the body and mind concept. fuck it. at least i don't have aids. i must say it'd be a good justification for suicide, though. damn. ¤ 5 Kisses ° Kiss Me :0* ¤
Monday, July 25th, 2005
4:26 am	muwhahaah...you're all sleeping and i'm awake. ha. *cough*.. right. ¤ 1 Kiss ° Kiss Me :0* ¤
Sunday, July 24th, 2005
1:12 pm	i want to go running at the beach. guess i'll crawl back into my bed isntead. ¤ Kiss Me :0* ¤
Thursday, July 21st, 2005
12:29 am	how can someone say they love you to death and want to be with you in the same breath as "youre selfish, stuck-up/pretentious and full-of-shit"?? does that not make them full of shit? i would think someone spewing that sort of vulgarity to be quite pretentious themself! speaking such to someone who loves them more than anything on god's green earth would also make them a bit selfish, considering such characteristics are quite painful to be granted. ...albeit i should have known noone could ever truly love me...it still feels like someone is pouring pure acid onto the festering infection of open soars that comprises my "stuck-up" organ of a heart. thanks tony. i love you. ¤ Kiss Me :0* ¤
Wednesday, July 20th, 2005
7:57 pm	just registered for school... i'm so excited. a full ass load. i'm sick of being a freshman. haha. i'm going to be the oldest one in all my classes. love it! so poor. ¤ Kiss Me :0* ¤
Tuesday, July 19th, 2005
2:17 pm	i failed the special k challenge because i replaced every meal with donuts instead. for the past THREE days. DONUTS! not special k! ¤ Kiss Me :0* ¤
Monday, July 18th, 2005
4:44 pm	fat people are so gross. i gross myself out! ¤ 2 Kisses ° Kiss Me :0* ¤
Saturday, July 16th, 2005
6:40 pm	three biggest fears: spiders, getting sick and body fat. you're never too far from a spider. i'm sick again! i'm fat. so lame. ¤ 3 Kisses ° Kiss Me :0* ¤
Friday, July 8th, 2005
1:43 am	i wish i could break all the jealous bones in my body, and be sure that they'd never heal! next i wish that i could alter the chemical reactions in my brain so as to prevent "love" from happening to me! lord, help me. i'm a freaking idiot retard. This ain't no temporary, typical, tearful goodbye This ain't no breakin' up, then wakin' up and makin' up one more time This is gone, gone, gone, gone Like all the good things, that ain't never comin' back he's gone he's gone! This ain't no 'give it time, I'm hurtin' but maybe we can work it out Won't be no champagne, red rose, romance, second chance Long gone, don't be wrong, never comin' back, my baby's gone he's gone... FUDGE! ¤ 1 Kiss ° Kiss Me :0* ¤
Sunday, July 3rd, 2005
10:09 pm	i fucking hate me! hope i die before i wake. ¤ Kiss Me :0* ¤
3:07 am	i have an idea! how about you shut-the-fuck-up unless you plan on bringing me flowers in public. ¤ Kiss Me :0* ¤
Tuesday, June 28th, 2005
8:39 pm	went to the beach today. burnt my ass. plan on doing it again tomorrow. call me if you are down, too! ¤ 9 Kisses ° Kiss Me :0* ¤
Tuesday, June 21st, 2005
1:29 am	happy first day of summer, everyone! see you bitches at the BEACH! ¤ 2 Kisses ° Kiss Me :0* ¤
Thursday, June 16th, 2005
9:56 pm	airy lifestyle. when i was real little, and believe it or not, even nerdier, i used to get this terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach whenever i was away from my mom or dad for too long. like homesickness, i guess. i became a pretty independent kid very quickly, and so, that feeling soon faded away. it's back. only my parents are not the reason, nor is being away from home. my insides feel seperate from me. there is an empty space where trust and hope once thrived. my heart won't stay in my chest. it constantly feels like it's being griped, twisted and pulled by an invisible hand. my nervous stomach is back. i feel like my future is being wiped away. something i've always felt so certain about, now seems mythical. i lie awake at night and try to quickly reassemble that future in my mind. the details are all missing. i realize that my oh-so-certain outcome will never exist. not if i rely on it building itself. i've got to build the damn elements myself. or else i'm going to spend every night for the rest of my life awake with longing for a life that is completly fictional. ¤ Kiss Me :0* ¤